Tales of a Double Virgo

Episode #26

write me!!

 

‘Write Me!’ the words demanded.

‘Go away’ i say.

‘I AM HERE!!! Can’t you hear me??!!’ the words yell.

‘I hear you just fine, but i’m tired. Leave me alone.’ says me.

‘But it’s our time of the week. We have so much to share. Why are you ignoring us??!!’ the words wail.

‘I’m busy. Distracted. Not interested. Leave Me ALONE!’

 

but the words persist.

 

i drag myself to the computer

when i’d rather be in bed

and

allow the words to have their way with me.

 

my resistance is HUGE.

such is the way of any ‘practice’.

sometimes we don’t wanna do it

and we do anyway.

the nature of the beast

beast = practice = what it takes to get there

 

the words have a story

and

my eyes are google-y.

 

and

i

practice.

 

what’s it going to be today, words?

what fine things do you have to offer?

wise guy, ay?

now you get all quiet?

wtf.

 

i hear Sponge Bob giggling in another room of my house.

the blow of the heat coming thru the vents.

the neighbor’s dog barks.

i feel like i’ve got nothing.

 

‘WRITE!’ the words yell at me.

‘holy crap,’ i say.

 

i feel empty

tired

ready to collapse

but

here i stay.

fingers poised on the keyboard

writing nonsense

and

lots of bla bla’s.

what the heck was all of that yelling about?

i thought there was a big something something to be shared?!

 

and

here i stay.

practicing my practice.

committed to my craft.

feeling the nothingness

that i feel full of

and

i write thru…..

 

breathe in

breathe out

repeat.

 

too much filling my head for writing.

too many other things to do other than write.

i don’t feel inspired.

the list of excuses goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

 

excuses excuses.

why do we deny what is good?

why do we resist the practice?

why do we turn to distractions

<run run run>

instead of to the depth of BEingness?

 

the depth of BEingness.

the ability

the willingness

the commitment

to the practice

whatever it might be

so that the noise goes away

eventually

and

the inspiration gets breathed in

eventually

and

we feel so much better

eventually

if we just practice.

 

practice practicing.

practice BEing.

commit to whatever it is you commit to

and

stay with it

no matter how you feel.

practice the practice.

Begin.