Daily Nugget #174
what IF open is safer?
i feel like we <or most of us>
go thru our lives
feeling like ‘closed’ is just safer.
it’s safer to close ourselves
our hearts
our minds
our beliefs
our voices.
why?
why do we think it feels safer?
to lock our true selves away.
hiding from hurt
from pain
from truth?
yea sure,
we all have been hurt and hurt and hurt.
and our defense is to close and close and close.
wtf.
what IF instead
we opened?
so many of us in the ‘spiritual’ world
hear of heart opening
and
bla bla.
what the hell does that really mean?
we practice our heart opening yoga poses
we practice our breathing
our affirmations
our non-judgment
<that needs a bit more practice>
our inner peace
and
where does it all really get us?
we need to feel safe
and
open isn’t safe.
i had a recent experience
with another culture
in another hemisphere
and THEY showed me what having an open heart really feels like.
it turns out i needed to see it
feel it
and
be enveloped and encompassed by it.
welcomed IN by it.
nurtured by it.
it turns out
that this is not really something i could ever learn
on my own
no matter how i contorted my body or my mind
i had to experience it.
wow.
it’s not something i can really explain
but i sure felt it.
that little corner of my heart that has been holding on for dear life
affecting my everything
just opened right on up
in the presence of direct heart connection.
i felt myself uncurl
and
my heart turned to look
to open
to meet the gaze of
the energy of
a truly open hearted BEing.
it was amazing how easy it was
how natural it felt
to just open.
it felt <and continues to feel> freaking amazing.
‘how do i go back?’ i thought
to a culture that thinks they are open
but they are really scared to
open fully.
and
how do i maintain my openness
in the climate of avoidance
and
fear?
hmmmm.
listen peeps.
i am not saying that there does not exist an open hearted person here and there
i am saying that
to be in the presence of an open hearted culture or country
is totally different altogether.
now what?
how do i integrate?
keep my openness?
i am blessed to have wise and beautiful friends.
‘Be the one modeling it!’ they say.
‘use those muscles. be the change! lead by example!’
ok.
here goes.
i am now committing to keeping my heart space true and open.
i commit to being me fully, authentically.
i am willing to share my heart with you if you are willing to share yours.
a direct heart connection involves both people.
i was ready to share mine
and
all i needed was to feel it. see it. trust it.
and bam! the door opened right up.
to allow your true heart space
in to another’s
is magical
and
like nothing i’ve experienced.
my world is still rocked.
my perspective is a bit scrambled.
i haven’t yet fully landed where i will be.
but i AM ready to experience more
and
i am looking forward to seeing the look in your eyes
when you feel it too.
take the risk!