what IF open is safer?

Daily Nugget #174

what IF open is safer?

 

i feel like we <or most of us>

go thru our lives

feeling like ‘closed’ is just safer.

 

it’s safer to close ourselves

our hearts

our minds

our beliefs

our voices.

 

why?

why do we think it feels safer?

to lock our true selves away.

hiding from hurt

from pain

from truth?

yea sure,

we all have been hurt and hurt and hurt.

and our defense is to close and close and close.

 

wtf.

 

what IF instead

we opened?

 

so many of us in the ‘spiritual’ world

hear of heart opening

and

bla bla.

what the hell does that really mean?

we practice our heart opening yoga poses

we practice our breathing

our affirmations

our non-judgment

<that needs a bit more practice>

our inner peace

and

where does it all really get us?

 

we need to feel safe

and

open isn’t safe.

 

i had a recent experience

with another culture

in another hemisphere

and THEY showed me what having an open heart really feels like.

it turns out i needed to see it

feel it

and

be enveloped and encompassed by it.

welcomed IN by it.

nurtured by it.

 

it turns out

that this is not really something i could ever learn

on my own

no matter how i contorted my body or my mind

i had to experience it.

 

wow.

 

it’s not something i can really explain

but i sure felt it.

that little corner of my heart that has been holding on for dear life

affecting my everything

just opened right on up

in the presence of direct heart connection.

 

i felt myself uncurl

and

my heart turned to look

to open

to meet the gaze of

the energy of

a truly open hearted BEing.

 

it was amazing how easy it was

how natural it felt

to just open.

it felt <and continues to feel> freaking amazing.

 

‘how do i go back?’ i thought

to a culture that thinks they are open

but they are really scared to

open fully.

and

how do i maintain my openness

in the climate of avoidance

and

fear?

 

hmmmm.

listen peeps.

i am not saying that there does not exist an open hearted person here and there

i am saying that

to be in the presence of an open hearted culture or country

is totally different altogether.

 

now what?

how do i integrate?

keep my openness?

 

i am blessed to have wise and beautiful friends.

‘Be the one modeling it!’ they say.

‘use those muscles. be the change! lead by example!’

 

ok.

here goes.

i am now committing to keeping my heart space true and open.

i commit to being me fully, authentically.

i am willing to share my heart with you if you are willing to share yours.

a direct heart connection involves both people.

 

i was ready to share mine

and

all i needed was to feel it. see it. trust it.

and bam! the door opened right up.

 

to allow your true heart space

in to another’s

is magical

and

like nothing i’ve experienced.

 

my world is still rocked.

my perspective is a bit scrambled.

i haven’t yet fully landed where i will be.

but i AM ready to experience more

and

i am looking forward to seeing the look in your eyes

when you feel it too.