Tales of a Double Virgo
Episode #17
and the walls came tumbling down…..
i write this not yet knowing what today will bring.
i write this wondering what it all means.
i write this from a place of truth and discovery
not knowing the answers yet
not clear about how to proceed.
and the walls came tumbling down.
it’s amazing to me
how many people
are a total contradiction.
say one thing. do another.
why is that?
i feel that i’ve consciously pointed myself in the direction of:
same on the inside AND out.
the dichotomy that i have felt
between my inners and outers
was never comfy.
it’s one thing to claim you are one way
when clearly you are not.
it’s a whole other beast
to FEEL you are one way
and not see it reflected in your life.
what i’m learning more and more
is that
nothing actually exists on the outside
that isn’t present within.
in other words~
life always shows us what we’ve got
whether we like it or not.
how do we change what we see?
we dive IN to ourselves and explore.
so much of who we are
is built in the unconscious.
where we came from. what we experienced.
what our BELIEFS are.
all build a version of ourselves that we may or may not agree with.
i always seem to circle back to belief.
the anatomy of belief.
beliefs ARE the foundation of who we are
or
who we think we are.
sometimes who we think we are
is not who we present.
that is confusing.
the conflict within each of us
about who we think we are and who we really are
sends mixed messages to those around us.
what we do speaks louder than what we say.
pay attention to your DO-ings.
what are your do-ings SAY-ing?
awareness is built.
built thru our willingness to truly see.
not what we want to see
but what IS.
awareness is shocking.
and the walls came tumbling down.
with awareness
we see ourselves for who we are.
and that’s not always who we want to be.
are we willing to see around our beliefs
to the truth?
can we see around our beliefs?
sometimes a belief sloughs off with ease.
others feel like their breaking will actually cause death!
when our foundation of belief is shaken
it may come tumbling down.
that isn’t always pleasant.
the good new is
we can rebuild it.
better this time.
i have felt the threat of releasing a foundational belief.
i literally thought i was going to die.
that’s how much that belief shaped me
and my life.
i didn’t die.
in fact
i feel even more alive.
i’m pretty sure it was the belief that was killing me
not the releasing of it.
and the walls came tumbling down.
lean in.
feel around.
be willing to ‘die’
so you can rebuild a better you.