the Lurker

Daily Nugget #194

the Lurker

 

fear, that is.

fear is the Lurker.

i ponder it often.

many have SOOOOO much of it

that it drips from them. oozes.

funny that often those are the same folks

who feel they have none.

 

for the rest of us

it is a bit more hidden.

impacting our lives

in ways we are not aware of.

 

the lurker.

i was examining my life

looking at things i avoid

and

certainly don’t align with.

is the lurker present?

 

i looked at the things i avoid:

chemicals. pesticides. radiation. cheap plastic shit.

to name a few.

why do i avoid these things?

because they don’t align.

because they suck.

 

does fear lurk there?

sure maybe.

i don’t want to give my kids an apple that has been sprayed

or

a plastic water bottle to drink out of.

 

this is where i get hung up.

is there a line between my beliefs

and

my fears?

do these things really matter?

or

is it the fear that harms us?

or both?

 

i haven’t yet gotten to the bottom of this.

it has stirred many things within me

and may

stir things within you.

 

separate your beliefs

and

your fears.

how linked are they? really.

how many beliefs are actually birthed from fear?

how much of our lives are then shaped by it?

by the Lurker?

 

are you too caught up in your belief of your beliefs

to even ponder their connection to the Lurker?

notice the rise you feel within

as you attempt to defend what you believe.

what are you defending?

 

i know for me

the rise that happens is:

‘how can it possibly be ok to poison the earth AND ourselves?’

what i’m questioning now is

which one is the poison?

my beliefs? my fears?

or

the ‘bad guys’ doing the ‘bad’ stuff?

 

then i wonder which even came first?

did my fear create the bad guys?

did our collective fear create them?

are the ‘bad guys’ our mirror?

 

what came first?

the age old question.

and one worth pursuing.

 

examine YOUR lurker

and

see where it leads you.

be willing to see the truth

whatever it might be.

 

maybe we will find

that the greatest poison

comes from within ourselves

and

spills out on to the world.

<a bit hard to swallow THAT responsibility>

are you willing to explore that?

are you willing to change things?

within you?

within all of us?

so everything changes??

 

deep thoughts to ponder deeply.

notice how you feel.

be willing to see.

xoxoxo