Tales of a Double Virgo
my suitcase has always been neatly packed
with a few messy corners
an awkward bulge here and there.
at the moment
i am being pushed on to a plane with no luggage.
not even a freakin’ carry on
i look down
to find i’m naked.
nothing to grab on to
nothing to cover up with
nothing to entertain myself
this is taking the:
‘am i medicating?’ post
to the next level.
i keep reading all of this cool stuff
about the turning point time that we are living in
about how everyone now
must definitely be ‘DOing’
what they are ‘here for’.
i WAS doing that, i thought.
all of that is getting pulled away
as i am shoved on to this plane
on my way to:
who the hell knows where.
i have officially entered uncharted territory
within myself and my life.
i am not ‘DOing’ what i thought i would be
in this Oh-So-Freaking-Important-Time.
not even close.
at one point
i just stopped fighting it.
never have i felt so much like a lump of clay
being molded by cosmic hands.
is someone playing chess with me?
this is when i realized
neatly packed. messy corners. awkward bulges.
‘Empty It Completely’ said a voice from above and within.
Lose ALL of the baggage.
who i thought i was.
what i thought i was here for.
what i thought i wanted to be ‘doing’
i am a fresh dry erase board now.
i can use fun colors to create my life
to test some things out
<this is a biggy>
i can erase it if it sucks.
I Can Erase It If It Sucks!!!
i had a block around planning for my future
even if it was the nearby future.
i always believed
that if i pointed myself in any direction
i would be locked to it
and that thought freaked me the hell out.
so my communication with myself and my life
to see myself as a dry erase board is fun!
i can let go of feeling i’m locked in to ANYTHING
and i can go about
testing out this and that
to see where i might ultimately
want to land!
i don’t have to know now.
i am determined to enjoy the ride.
i don’t have to take it so damn seriously.
it’s ok to have fun, for goodness sake.
i WANT it to be fun.
this ‘do what i’m here to do’ thing
has been way too stressful
for way too long.
i’m naked & stuff-less on this plane to who-the-hell-knows where
the lady next to me
has a super hot outfit and some sensible shoes to give me.
the guy behind me tosses me a perfectly broken in jean jacket.
the kid across the isle shares his cheezy poofs.
i find out
where we are going is, well…..
i’ll save that for another post.
and i’ll save the pictures from this adventure for another post too.
i’m sure you’ve conjured up some doozies in your own mind.
i hope i look hot.
‘We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.’
Joseph Campbell <3