how do you do it?!

Daily Nugget #169

how do you do it?!


i am inspired to write about love and marriage and relationships today.

i just had my 18th wedding anniversary


someone had a thoughtful question for me.


‘holy shit. that’s a long time. how do you do it?’


yes, that IS a long time and lots of people do it

tho not everyone still likes each other after all of those years.

they stay together because it’s easier? or for the kids?


the lives you’ve tied together are just too tangled now.


all relationships have ups and downs and ins and outs.

the key moments in MY marriage

have been when one of us choose a different reaction.


we all have our ‘stuff ‘

our issues that we bring to the table.

when one persons stuff comes up


the other person reacts based on their own stuff

the cycle continues.

you may never get anywhere

when both of you won’t budge.


the real magic, growth, expansion happens

when you step OUT of your normal reaction


choose differently,

not engaging in the same pattern

over and over and over and over…….


it can be quite difficult to change and grow and evolve together

when neither of you are willing to react differently to each others ‘stuff ‘.


make sense?


think about your person

<or any relationship for that matter>


think about your issues.

what comes up for you?

what things do you cycle thru?

they may not be up all of the time

but they are there


they DO surface.



imagine how you might react differently this time.


how you might feel if your person reacted differently.

it takes a bit of practice


you DO have authentically react in a new way


not at all  <being neutral>.


like everything i write/talk about

it takes practice


it takes awareness.



pay attention.

listen deeply.

take your relationship to new levels

when you choose

to react differently……

keepin' it real <3

keepin’ it real <3




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