Daily Nugget #169
how do you do it?!
i am inspired to write about love and marriage and relationships today.
i just had my 18th wedding anniversary
someone had a thoughtful question for me.
‘holy shit. that’s a long time. how do you do it?’
yes, that IS a long time and lots of people do it
tho not everyone still likes each other after all of those years.
they stay together because it’s easier? or for the kids?
the lives you’ve tied together are just too tangled now.
all relationships have ups and downs and ins and outs.
the key moments in MY marriage
have been when one of us choose a different reaction.
we all have our ‘stuff ‘
our issues that we bring to the table.
when one persons stuff comes up
the other person reacts based on their own stuff
the cycle continues.
you may never get anywhere
when both of you won’t budge.
the real magic, growth, expansion happens
when you step OUT of your normal reaction
not engaging in the same pattern
over and over and over and over…….
it can be quite difficult to change and grow and evolve together
when neither of you are willing to react differently to each others ‘stuff ‘.
think about your person
<or any relationship for that matter>
think about your issues.
what comes up for you?
what things do you cycle thru?
they may not be up all of the time
but they are there
they DO surface.
imagine how you might react differently this time.
how you might feel if your person reacted differently.
it takes a bit of practice
you DO have authentically react in a new way
not at all <being neutral>.
like everything i write/talk about
it takes practice
it takes awareness.
take your relationship to new levels
when you choose
to react differently……