Tales of a Double Virgo
Episode #50
excavation
if you ask me
the months of november. december.
and
a dash of january
need to be excavated
and
rebuilt.
i am NOT a jolly holiday-er.
this is NOT my fav time of the year.
i am an official member of
POOPtown
&
scroogeville.
why?
i ask myself that same damn question every year.
this year my grrrrrrr factor was Xtra potent.
&
again i explored my why’s.
well
there are the obvious ones:
buy. buy. buy.
obligation.
spend spend.
guilt. pressure. yuck.
the waning light
and
colder dayz…
and
the not so obvious ones:
why do we cram a whole year of celebrating
in to a few short weeks?
our celebrating muscles are so fucking out of balance.
in the days of pastness
people celebrated shifts and cycles
every season.
about every 6 weeks
there was something to celebrate.
no need to spend all of your money
your sugar chips
and
alcohol quota
in the ONLY 6 weeks
of ‘accepted’ celebrating.
we got the 6 right
it’s just out of balance
like so much of our lives.
today
i realized
that
all we needed was an excavator
to come in
and
scoop out
part of the year
so we can rebuild
with harmony
and
learn to use our celebratory muscles
more frequently
so as to not fucking overwork them so damn much
during the designated celebration season.
fuck.
there are things to celebrate all year long.
so many milestones.
so many mercury’s going direct.
so many fires out.
lost dogs found.
so many abundant gardens
beliefs questioned
relationships released
jobs changed
goals reached.
and on and on and on…..
i’m excavating the whole damn thing
and
rebuilding in harmony
spreading out the goodness
thru out the ENTIRE year
so
we always have something to celebrate.
and
it doesn’t require money
or
buying stuff
or
any kind of obligatory activity.
you can celebrate if you are feeling it
and
maybe sometimes you’re not.
come to think of it
i think i’ll have that excavator
come scoop out a few outdated beliefs
dwelling within me
so i can rebuild them too
from a place of trust.
ah. trust.
something i’ve been keenly aware of people lacking in
and
it wasn’t until
someone showed me their UNtrust recently
that i realized
there was a piece of it
lurking in the depths of my heart.
this whole past year people have been throwing their UNtrust at me
for fucks sake.
now i get it.
*you will keep seeing it
until it is healed*
thank you, oh wise one
playing thru the relationships of my life
showing me
with great clarity
where i need a personal tune-up.
i know
sometimes i have been confused
now i get it.
i’m leaning in.
why NOT trust?
it feels a hell of a lot better.
excavate the UNtrust.
if you do
will there be any of you left?
will you be fully scooped?
leveled?
will any of you remain?
will any of you remain?
will any of you remain?……
Comments 4
AMEN SISTER !!! I’M WITH YOU!!!
Happy shoveling!
AMEN SISTER . . . I’M WITH YOU!
Thank you for putting in words how I’ve been feeling!!!!! This is my least favorite time of year!!!!!
You amaze me!!!
A wonderful piece, Dee Elle my shaman with the sweet red dragon. thank you for sending her so she could help me EX cavate during these hard 6 weeks. Sending you love, and really like your fave hand tool, the shovel.