Dear Diary,

Daily Nugget #166

Dear Diary,

 

it has been a long time since my last entry.

longer than i can remember.

we have some catching up to do.

 

what a summer this has been.

i tended to dwell in the challenges….

dealing with the emotions that came up

after i closed my biz.

not realizing that Grief would be the dominant fluid

coursing thru my veins.

 

i had no idea that i would have to grieve something that i chose to release.

 

often i felt depressed. dark. poopy to the nth degree.

i wondered ‘what’s the point?’

Grief took over.

 

Diary, i’m sure glad you are the only one reading this.

 

a friend of mine reminded me that Love always comes With Grief.

so true.

so much love. so many memories.

 

i also realized

that even tho i closed the door to my old way

my energy still occupied that time/space.

i couldn’t ‘do’ much of anything.

even simple tasks.

yes, i was living in Pooptown

but my energy was used to:

making teas. answering emails. putting together orders. doing invoicing….

and it was still doing those things.

i realized that even tho i created more time/space

my ‘energy’ had stayed in my old routines.

 

this is a really big realization.

i can’t wait to share this one with others.

i bet it is happening to them too.

 

so i started to reel in

and

gather my energy

from far off places

not in the physical realm.

i called myself back to the Now

and

had a meeting.

‘look self. you can stop doing all of that stuff. we closed the biz.’

ahhhh.

well apparently, my energy didn’t get the memo.

 

not only was i grieving

but i was expending TONS of my life force

on a life that wasn’t mine anymore.

 

then, Diary

the other day

i lifted out of Pooptown.

for one whole day

i felt great! light! free! happy!

wow!

then i slid back a little.

but the combo of

allowing myself to complete the grief cycle

and

reeling my energy back in to the Now

is helping me feel better all the time.

 

it’s funny how easy it is to forget that lots of awesome stuff happened too!

i took the Leap in to my next adventure!

i turned my yard in to a fairy headquarters.

i rode my horse every week.

my kids turned a year older.

my girlfriends celebrated my metamorphosis.

i went to the ocean!

i created a new vege garden with my man.

i had lots of great body/energy work.

i did some cool hikes and an awesome overnight.

i got a passport! Peru here i come!

i met some cool new people.

i watched my kids compete and win stuff.

i realized i shifted from Dragon to Butterfly

and

rainbows. sparkles & water are my new elements.

wow. really i could keep going for many pages.

 

Diary,

i forgot to write about all of the goodness.

i was SO consumed with my Pooptown.

i’m so glad that i remembered to do it now.

there are always Pearls born within and out of the irritations.

it helps to write stuff down.

even tho i haven’t been talking to you much, Diary

i have jotted stuff down in my Desire Map Day Planner.

that’s how i remember that some cool stuff happened too.

 

wow Diary.

you are good.

i feel better already.

let’s plan on connecting again soon.

thank you.

much love,

dee