avoidance

Daily Nugget #63

avoidance

 

hmmm.

i’ve been wanting to write all day.

every time i start

i get all poopy

and

delete delete delete..

 

that’s not usually how it works.

tho that’s how things are working today.

 

here i am again.

will i delete this post too?

and

what the hell is the issue?

i never have a problem writing

or rather

channeling.

 

did i lose it?

shit.

i hope not.

 

maybe i lost SOMEthing.

what?

maybe i lost my ability to give a shit.

no.

maybe i lost my vision.

EEK! no.

maybe i lost my way.

hmmm. that’s possible.

or

maybe i didn’t lose anything.

 

i feel the ‘calling’

to write about Time Travel.

geesh. big topic.

think anyone cares or wants to know about that?

i wonder sometimes

actually

if anyone is listening

or caring.

 

maybe i’m feeling poopy cause its the first day of school

and

ALL of my memories of school pretty much suck.

maybe i felt un-listened to most of my life

and

i’m having a pity party for myself today.

poor me. no one is listening.

well

who cares.

i guess i do.

i thought i didn’t.

until today.

 

i feel something deep within

that wants to Old Faithful out of my depths.

why does it matter if anyone listens.

why does it matter if anyone cares.

i don’t f’n know.

 

i’m still writing and haven’t deleted yet.

that must mean you are still reading this too

if

in fact

there IS a YOU reading this.

maybe not.

 

or

maybe so.

confused yet?

 

so instead of avoiding the sucky

i’m diving in to it.

i don’t always understand

i don’t always have to understand.

but sometimes i want to.

 

sometimes it’s just ok to feel sucky.

and

sometimes it’s ok when ‘stuff’ comes up & triggers OUR issues.

if it still comes up. it’s still there.

 

if you think no one is listening

i am.

if you think no one cares.

i do.

if you think no one else gets poopy

(especially those on the ‘spiritual’ path)

HA!

we ALL get poopy.

some of us just might not admit it

or

allow it to be.

 

so instead of naming this post Avoidance,

it’s really just another post on poopy-ness.

 

look deeply into the eyes of your shadow.

what do you see?

i bet it didn’t expect you to do that.

try doing a happy dance

and

say ‘hey, i’m listening. i care. show me whatcha got.’

xo