Daily Nugget #63
i’ve been wanting to write all day.
every time i start
i get all poopy
delete delete delete..
that’s not usually how it works.
tho that’s how things are working today.
here i am again.
will i delete this post too?
what the hell is the issue?
i never have a problem writing
did i lose it?
i hope not.
maybe i lost SOMEthing.
maybe i lost my ability to give a shit.
maybe i lost my vision.
maybe i lost my way.
hmmm. that’s possible.
maybe i didn’t lose anything.
i feel the ‘calling’
to write about Time Travel.
geesh. big topic.
think anyone cares or wants to know about that?
i wonder sometimes
if anyone is listening
maybe i’m feeling poopy cause its the first day of school
ALL of my memories of school pretty much suck.
maybe i felt un-listened to most of my life
i’m having a pity party for myself today.
poor me. no one is listening.
i guess i do.
i thought i didn’t.
i feel something deep within
that wants to Old Faithful out of my depths.
why does it matter if anyone listens.
why does it matter if anyone cares.
i don’t f’n know.
i’m still writing and haven’t deleted yet.
that must mean you are still reading this too
there IS a YOU reading this.
so instead of avoiding the sucky
i’m diving in to it.
i don’t always understand
i don’t always have to understand.
but sometimes i want to.
sometimes it’s just ok to feel sucky.
sometimes it’s ok when ‘stuff’ comes up & triggers OUR issues.
if it still comes up. it’s still there.
if you think no one is listening
if you think no one cares.
if you think no one else gets poopy
(especially those on the ‘spiritual’ path)
we ALL get poopy.
some of us just might not admit it
allow it to be.
so instead of naming this post Avoidance,
it’s really just another post on poopy-ness.
look deeply into the eyes of your shadow.
what do you see?
i bet it didn’t expect you to do that.
try doing a happy dance
say ‘hey, i’m listening. i care. show me whatcha got.’