Tales of a Double Virgo

Episode #18

are you prepared to find?

 

i heard this today:

‘Don’t go looking for something you are Not prepared to find.’

 

what do you seek?

truly seek.

are you willing to accept what the truth is?

this got me thinking.

there are many things i’d like an answer to

and

from this angle

i questioned whether or not

i was really prepared to see the truth

hear the truth

the real answer to any quest i may be embarking upon.

 

why.

 

why are things the way that they are?

accepting the fact that everything in my life is my own doing.

is it all really in my highest good?

do things stick around for as long as they must

until we can get it thru our thick skulls?

 

i have a thing

that in all of my years of spiritual searching

i have yet to understand why.

today i stood and looked at the reason being:

i haven’t learned it yet.

 

damn.

 

i wish i could find my instruction manual.

not that i ever follow directions

tho it may be helpful in this now.

 

i feel like i’m free falling thru space.

nothing to grab on to

yet

my stomach is lifted

my mind is spinning.

i can’t control my speed

and if i try to

i fall faster.

 

how is one to truly ALLOW

when the drop seems bottomless.

will i ever land where i’m

‘meant to be’

and

how much bull shit is that anyway?

 

i get caught up in the place between:

what i think i want

and

what is ‘best for me’ in this life.

how much say do i truly have in this experience?

can i really do what i want?

if so, why is it not happening?

 

am i steering my life in the wrong direction?

do i need an alignment

because i’m always pulling to the side i think i want?

who’s really in charge here?

 

‘If you want to make god laugh, tell him about your plans.’

fuck.

yea, that’s another stand out from the week.

thanks a lot Woody A.

 

as i free fall

in this life

that i thought i was ‘creating’

i wonder who is really driving.

is my soul messing with me?

am i not hearing the messages?

 

how am i to truly DO what i am here to

if every end seems dead?

or maybe every end is a cul de sac

looping me back IN to from where i came.

 

confusion runs deep right now

almost as deep as the shock.

super moons. awakening. evolution. change.

the age of aquarius. come on.

are we that far behind?

yea. i think so.

 

it’s messy right now.

are we willing to see?

what is it we are truly asking?

are we ready for the truth?

 

ask yourself these questions.

and then

ask yourself

if you are prepared to find what you are looking for.

if not

you may find yourself at a dead end

or

a cul de sac……

 

this is messy, like us. it's blurry, chaotic and......look at the beauty behind. that's us too.

sunrise glow from this morning. this pix messy, like us. it’s blurry, chaotic and……look at the beauty behind. the fresh day. that’s us too.