Daily Nugget #74
addiction.
what IS addiction?
where does it come from?
why do we have it?
this is a topic that stirs much curiosity
within me
as i attempt to understand it.
why?
why do we have addictions?
why do we ‘need’ certain things.
ya ya ya, i know sometimes there is a ‘physical’ component
however
from what i’ve witnessed
things don’t start in the physical.
they just land there
cause that is the plane that tends to gets our attention the swiftest.
so why?
why do we have such things.
why do we spend time in our day
dreaming about that glass of wine
that drag of tobacco
that heap of sugar
that…
the list goes on.
but it does not end @ ‘substances’
emotions do the same thing.
and our mind?
yikes! don’t get me started.
some of us are addicted to drama
fear
our pain
our past
pointing out others faults
sabotaging ourselves
negative self talk.
the list goes on.
where does it start?
where does it come from? originate?
when was it born?
did it start in our mothers belly?
did it start when we were injected with poisons?
did it start when our parents didn’t believe in us?
or listen to us?
did it start when we were left to be comforted by a
blanket
or
a stuffed animal
when really
all we wanted was to be held?
i don’t know.
all i know is that i intend to get to the bottom of it
to understand
and
to help us heal.
i often push myself deeper into an addiction
so that i can see if i can get out.
see what my reaction is.
see how i respond.
sometimes i get stuck there for a while…..
funny thing, addiction.
it can be consuming
controlling
and
TOTALLY DISTRACTING
from the the good stuff in life.
gosh
if i don’t get a drink
or a smoke
or some chocolate
or whatever
RIGHT NOW
i’m gonna lose my shit.
wow.
we are missing out on some cool stuff
when we get pulled into the addiction vortex.
we miss out on even more stuff
when our addictions are of the emotional or mental nature.
they are more subtle
yet
infinitely more powerful.
are we addicted to judgment?
are we addicted to lack?
ug!
addiction.
not sure that i’ve solved anything
but i sure have asked a lot of questions.
and
when we ask questions
the answer shall be revealed.
do YOU have addiction?
i’m not sure that we all do.
i feel like a healthy and aware person
and
i for sure have them.
this is an interesting definition:
addiction. the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
hmmm. enslaved? cessation causes severe trauma?
if we have addiction
does that mean we do NOT have will power?
does that mean that we are not strong?
how can we be so controlled?
do those who have mastered the physical
still deal with this?
probably not.
what then must we master in order to truly be free?
to truly be in command of ourselves
and
our lives?
is this a belief?
how do we change it?
do we want to?
ahhh. so many questions.
so little answers.
let’s take a moment to explore this.
if you decided to read this,
you prob resonate so far
right?
let’s close our eyes
and
take a deep breath.
in thru the nose. out thru the mouth.
put your left hand on your heart
and
your right hand on your belly just below your button.
let’s call in, access, visualize
our ENTIRE timeline.
our own personal history.
for some it may just be this life.
for others it may extent to many.
breath as you see your timeline gathering before you
or around you.
now, ask yourself to send up a flare
at the time in your personal history
when addiction (in whatever form it manifests)
was born.
go to that point.
see what it is.
when it is.
what was happening?
for me (sniff sniff)
it was a major point as a child
when i truly was NOT listened to
at i time when i reached out.
wow.
does addiction happen to fill something?
do we lose a part of ourselves along the way?
and
we must fill it in?
now
go to the place in your timeline
and
offer yourself whatever it is you needed then.
say, ‘it’s ok. we don’t have to carry this any further.
you are loved. you are safe. i will protect you.’
or something to that affect.
whatever seems appropriate for YOU
for then.
ah.
this is big healing, people.
visit yourself often.
bring with you
the love and care
that may have been absent
or
you perceived to be absent.
gather yourself.
love yourself.
and
move forward now
with the wholeness that you so deserve.
make yourself a cup of tea.
be gentle.
take good care.
be you.
be free!!