Daily Nugget #74
what IS addiction?
where does it come from?
why do we have it?
this is a topic that stirs much curiosity
as i attempt to understand it.
why do we have addictions?
why do we ‘need’ certain things.
ya ya ya, i know sometimes there is a ‘physical’ component
from what i’ve witnessed
things don’t start in the physical.
they just land there
cause that is the plane that tends to gets our attention the swiftest.
why do we have such things.
why do we spend time in our day
dreaming about that glass of wine
that drag of tobacco
that heap of sugar
the list goes on.
but it does not end @ ‘substances’
emotions do the same thing.
and our mind?
yikes! don’t get me started.
some of us are addicted to drama
pointing out others faults
negative self talk.
the list goes on.
where does it start?
where does it come from? originate?
when was it born?
did it start in our mothers belly?
did it start when we were injected with poisons?
did it start when our parents didn’t believe in us?
or listen to us?
did it start when we were left to be comforted by a
a stuffed animal
all we wanted was to be held?
i don’t know.
all i know is that i intend to get to the bottom of it
to help us heal.
i often push myself deeper into an addiction
so that i can see if i can get out.
see what my reaction is.
see how i respond.
sometimes i get stuck there for a while…..
funny thing, addiction.
it can be consuming
from the the good stuff in life.
if i don’t get a drink
or a smoke
or some chocolate
i’m gonna lose my shit.
we are missing out on some cool stuff
when we get pulled into the addiction vortex.
we miss out on even more stuff
when our addictions are of the emotional or mental nature.
they are more subtle
infinitely more powerful.
are we addicted to judgment?
are we addicted to lack?
not sure that i’ve solved anything
but i sure have asked a lot of questions.
when we ask questions
the answer shall be revealed.
do YOU have addiction?
i’m not sure that we all do.
i feel like a healthy and aware person
i for sure have them.
this is an interesting definition:
hmmm. enslaved? cessation causes severe trauma?
if we have addiction
does that mean we do NOT have will power?
does that mean that we are not strong?
how can we be so controlled?
do those who have mastered the physical
still deal with this?
what then must we master in order to truly be free?
to truly be in command of ourselves
is this a belief?
how do we change it?
do we want to?
ahhh. so many questions.
so little answers.
let’s take a moment to explore this.
if you decided to read this,
you prob resonate so far
let’s close our eyes
take a deep breath.
in thru the nose. out thru the mouth.
put your left hand on your heart
your right hand on your belly just below your button.
let’s call in, access, visualize
our ENTIRE timeline.
our own personal history.
for some it may just be this life.
for others it may extent to many.
breath as you see your timeline gathering before you
or around you.
now, ask yourself to send up a flare
at the time in your personal history
when addiction (in whatever form it manifests)
go to that point.
see what it is.
when it is.
what was happening?
for me (sniff sniff)
it was a major point as a child
when i truly was NOT listened to
at i time when i reached out.
does addiction happen to fill something?
do we lose a part of ourselves along the way?
we must fill it in?
go to the place in your timeline
offer yourself whatever it is you needed then.
say, ‘it’s ok. we don’t have to carry this any further.
you are loved. you are safe. i will protect you.’
or something to that affect.
whatever seems appropriate for YOU
this is big healing, people.
visit yourself often.
bring with you
the love and care
that may have been absent
you perceived to be absent.
move forward now
with the wholeness that you so deserve.
make yourself a cup of tea.
take good care.