Tales of a Double Virgo

Episode #32

the lack reflex

 

it feels like a reflex.

that

suck-the-life-outta-you

kick in the abs

response to certain ‘things’

ie. triggers.

 

the

i don’t have enough

i’m not doing enough

i’m not good enough

reflex

that comes in

and

kicks ass

all over the place

trampling the goodness that was birthing

the flow that was flowing

the trust that was growing.

 

re·flex

noun
an action that is performed as a response to a stimulus and without conscious thought.

WITHOUT CONSCIOUS THOUGHT!

 

i just started noticing my lack reflex.

the response to a situation

that involves green paper.

 

it feels cellular. deep. old.

if feels like it reaches in and grabs my breath

and

turns my inners dry.

why am i so thirsty all of a sudden?

 

it makes me fear that the return and replenishment

of my needs and wants

won’t happen.

it makes my forehead crinkle

and

my chest cave in.

 

maybe you feel it in the moment that you collapse on to the couch.

‘omg. i should be DOing more.’

or

right when you get close to your dreams

close enough to almost touch them

you hear

‘i’m not good enough. i don’t deserve this.’

and

the dreams slip thru your fingers……

 

i don’t have enough

i’m not good enough

i’m not doing enough

the parade of lack

that likes to sabotage

our ALLness.

 

what would life feel like without it?

if the reflex could be REtrained to respond differently?

 

first, awareness must be present.

which reflex lives in you?

pay close attention to when and where it kicks in.

 

then, identify what things stress you out.

notice where you feel it in your body.

 

and then

take action.

when you feel the reflex about to contract your whole being

see if you can distract it.

it’s just a bully to be dealt with.

once you’re on to it

it can no longer out-smart you

or

sneak up and sabotage your life.

 

<shift lack to enoughness>

 

do you know what enoughness feels like?

it feels like trust.

trust in the flow

trust in yourself

trust that everything is ok.

 

get out of your head

and

stop ‘trying’ to steer the ship.

allow the ALLOW to happen.

 

trust + allow = enoughness.

 

step out of your way

tell yourself you ARE enough

there IS enough

and

you are DOing enough.

even if you don’t believe it at first.

the bully within your head will miss a step

then another

then another

and

before you know it

Enoughness descends upon

and

rises within you.

 

and the lack reflex?

well

bullies are the ones lacking

so when you counter it with

ENOUGH

and

ALLOW

bam!

you land in the middle of your life

with new eyes>

gratitude washes over you

and

enoughness is the new boss.

 

Allow