Tales of a Double Virgo
Episode #32
the lack reflex
it feels like a reflex.
that
suck-the-life-outta-you
kick in the abs
response to certain ‘things’
ie. triggers.
the
i don’t have enough
i’m not doing enough
i’m not good enough
reflex
that comes in
and
kicks ass
all over the place
trampling the goodness that was birthing
the flow that was flowing
the trust that was growing.
re·flex
noun
an action that is performed as a response to a stimulus and without conscious thought.
WITHOUT CONSCIOUS THOUGHT!
i just started noticing my lack reflex.
the response to a situation
that involves green paper.
it feels cellular. deep. old.
if feels like it reaches in and grabs my breath
and
turns my inners dry.
why am i so thirsty all of a sudden?
it makes me fear that the return and replenishment
of my needs and wants
won’t happen.
it makes my forehead crinkle
and
my chest cave in.
maybe you feel it in the moment that you collapse on to the couch.
‘omg. i should be DOing more.’
or
right when you get close to your dreams
close enough to almost touch them
you hear
‘i’m not good enough. i don’t deserve this.’
and
the dreams slip thru your fingers……
i don’t have enough
i’m not good enough
i’m not doing enough
the parade of lack
that likes to sabotage
our ALLness.
what would life feel like without it?
if the reflex could be REtrained to respond differently?
first, awareness must be present.
which reflex lives in you?
pay close attention to when and where it kicks in.
then, identify what things stress you out.
notice where you feel it in your body.
and then
take action.
when you feel the reflex about to contract your whole being
see if you can distract it.
it’s just a bully to be dealt with.
once you’re on to it
it can no longer out-smart you
or
sneak up and sabotage your life.
<shift lack to enoughness>
do you know what enoughness feels like?
it feels like trust.
trust in the flow
trust in yourself
trust that everything is ok.
get out of your head
and
stop ‘trying’ to steer the ship.
allow the ALLOW to happen.
trust + allow = enoughness.
step out of your way
tell yourself you ARE enough
there IS enough
and
you are DOing enough.
even if you don’t believe it at first.
the bully within your head will miss a step
then another
then another
and
before you know it
Enoughness descends upon
and
rises within you.
and the lack reflex?
well
bullies are the ones lacking
so when you counter it with
ENOUGH
and
ALLOW
bam!
you land in the middle of your life
with new eyes>
gratitude washes over you
and
enoughness is the new boss.
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