Daily Nugget #154

puke

 

it smells.

it feels horrible coming back up.

oh, that feeling right before….

 

not so unlike our old ‘stuff ‘

that floats to the surface

ready to be faced. again.

the undigested particles of our old selves

the frothy essence of our insides.

 

whether we face it or not

it faces us.

whether we like it or not

it’s moving up and out.

 

puke.

the fair.

that gas station corn dog.

those places you tuck your guilt. regret. fear.

that sometimes just explode out of you

leaving you wonder what the hell just happened.

 

why on earth would i ever do something like that?

tuck that away?

like a soda bottle that i give a hard shake to.

regardless of why or how

it happens.

again and again

until we are buoyant

in our inners.

 

until we are buoyant in our inners.

 

the change we are growing towards

yes

is light.

light on every level and in every way.

we process now

in the moment

not allowing anything to stuff>

words to go unsaid>

lives to go un-lived>.

 

puke.

we usually feel better after.

usually.

tho it may take a bit.

 

it’s harder the 2nd time.

the anxiety of allowing it to surface

the fear of pain.

 

the fear of pain.

 

in the part of us that is really us

we seek peace.

in the part of us that is really us

we seek love and to be loved.

 

we seek a life without judgment

from the outside

and the in.

 

or maybe these are the things that i seek

or

i observe others seeking

or

both.

 

puke.

i’d like to not puke ever again.

in any way shape or form.

i will chew my foods thoroughly

and

eat my ferments

and

digest all of the particles of my experiences

so they can be used as energy

and

not weight.

 

Deep Nuggets on a pukey day.

sending love and rainbows.

xo

ha! no kidding.

ha! no kidding.