Tales of a Double Virgo

Episode #43

Faith and Control

 

Faith & Control

2 loaded words.

what comes up for you?

do you tighten?

do you lift your chin?

do you have flashes of kneeling on red velvety things

or

the time the rug got pulled out from your ENTIRE LIFE?!

 

do you know what you want from life?

can you formulate your ideal situation in every way?

where you live. who you are with. who you ARE. what you are DOing.

?

how closely does this match what actually IS?

 

how willing are you to change what doesn’t match?

 

control and faith

faith and control.

 

how much control do we really have?

  1. we have control over what we seek.
  2. our CHOICES.
  3. and our reactions to what happens along the way.

what we want is ENTIRELY up to us. choice #1.

tho we may make that choice UNconsciously.

 

Worry- To pray for what you do NOT want.

-love that definition-

 

how much of what is happening in your life is a result of your thoughts?

all of it.

pay attention to what you are thinking.

thoughts turn in to things.

get clear about what you really want for you and your life.

 

#2 Choice

BAM! we choose every moment of every day.

we choose what to think about. what to believe. what to eat. how to spend our time. who to spend our time with.

we choose what to wear. how to react. we choose to respond OR NOT to what is presented to

us. we choose to exercise or not. to medicate. to stay in unhealthy situations. to smile. laugh and have fun!

the list goes on.

each moment is a choice.

choose CONSCIOUSLY.

 

#3 Our Reactions

DO you react?

are you a reactor?

quick to take things personally?

quick to allow your mind to fill with all kinds of thoughts surrounding an interaction?

 

you CAN change that, you know.

you don’t HAVE to react.

you can CHOOSE to let go.

you don’t have to swallow it or explode or anything!

take a breath and release.

it may take a few breaths in some cases.

and

a few more 🙂

 

start with paying attention to your reactions to things.

maybe some things you used to react to but don’t anymore.

good job.

know that

the more work you do on your self

thru awareness

the more things change in the emotional waters within.

 

Faith.

this word used to be a trigger for me.

from a religious standpoint,

so much damage has been done in my family (& everywhere!)

from those looking down their pious high horse.

wtf.

but that’s a whole other Tale.

 

the kind of faith i am referring to now

is COMPLETE AND TOTAL BELIEF IN SELF.

confidence to the nth level.

 

until recently

i was UNaware that i was lacking in this area of my life.

i know what i want.

i am making conscious choices

and

i pay attention to any REactions that may rise up.

the piece tho

that i was missing in this equation

was the complete and total belief in myself.

 

it has been beautifully mirrored back to me

by deeply insecure people (over and over)

until i finally figured it out!

yippee!

 

faith in self

may be the most important ingredient in the life cocktail

and

i was missing it.

omg.

 

when i really started to explore this

i was able to trace it back to ONE VERY KEY CONVERSATION

i had with my dad

when i was in college.

holy crap

was that REALLY the origin??!!!

who the FUCK knows.

 

all i know now

is that i am AWARE of it

and

AWARE of the thoughts that go along with it

and

that it has been sabotaging my life in certain places for many years.

whoa.

 

it’s amazing to shed light in a dark corner

to realize something about yourself

to wake up to a new level of possibility

to breathe freshness

to feel new.

 

this road to Faith in Self

has been bumpy as hell.

we need a serious 4WD road sometimes

to shake us IN to awareness.

i am grateful i was able to see it finally

and

be willing to admit it.

 

know this.

you are you

and that is awesome!!!!

 

our experiences shape us and define us

and

if we allow them to break us

we can only hope that we will break OPEN.

 

the more resistance you have to life

the more it will hurt.

the more you attempt to control everything

the less control you will have.

drive your life from your heart space

do what makes you feel good

BE exactly who you ARE

no matter what people tell you.

believe in you

and

enjoy the ride.

ha! during a visit with my sister and her family, this pix was a series named:
#whenmomsdiscoversnapchatfilters
if you get it, you get it!!! ha again!!!